Isn’t it tricky, this business of politics? Particularly for someone branded a reformer. That image has been a tad tainted by the realities of dealing with allies and loose cannons, not helped by expectations floated during the last election. Maybe politicos should start taking promises as seriously as the more gullible elements amongst the population.

It’s sad that these days the hoi polloi don’t have wise orators to guide them rather than populists trying to score political points by criticising such an obvious need as an increase in water charges. Even if CWA monthly prices are doubled, bills will still be no more than the cost of a packet of cigarettes, as Dr B pointed out years ago – but he was thwarted by a government more concerned with its popularity than acting responsibly.

2,400 years ago, Aristophanes wrote one of his most famous comedies, The Birds, in which a middle-aged Athenian persuades the world’s birds to create a new city in the sky (or maybe highlands), thereby gaining control over all communications between men and gods. He called the city Nephelokokkygia – which means cloud-cuckoo-land. There’s much nonsense in the play and you might wonder whether some Admirables live in Nephelokokkygia or in Mauritius. You can bring a paille-en-queue back down to earth by holding out a mouse but people are another matter.

Thank Zeus you’re considering semiprivatising water. Too many parastatal bodies are filled with political appointees bent on filling their pockets with anything to hand. Of course, there’ll be opposition from those terrified of working or having their incompetence exposed. Unions will be vitriolic but many of them can’t see outside their anti-capitalist blinkers. For once it’ll be reasonable if government is government and government decides. Water may fall from heaven but, if people don’t want to pay for it, they’d better start thinking about rainwater harvesting. Thinking of which, it would be a darn sight better to subsidise the cost of water butts than water tanks, which don’t save a drop of water.

Meanwhile, insinuations abound that jobs are being handed out rather arbitrarily. If true, it’s a bit feeble to insinuate the other lot did the same thing and it’s time to give others a chance; it’s like a murderer using other murderers as justification. Perhaps it’s time to start a charm campaign and chat up the press. If the bottom line for politicians is to get re-elected – or at least remain in office as long as possible – that of newspapers is to sell copies. They therefore resort to scandalous headlines so it might be wise to stop feeding them tit-bits. If Lepep only followed its manifesto more closely, most of the press would back every measure. However, if mutual respect has much to commend it, there’s always been a battle. Aristophanes’ political comments didn’t always go down well with his politicians – nor were all his criticisms justified.

So, to detract attention from the rumblings, it might better to speed up the promised reform measures. It beggars belief that so few politicos realise that, in doing so, they could win election after election. A few vested interests maybe affronted but the majority of voters just want to see integrity, meritocracy and open government. Mind you, I’ve found instilling anything in politicians’ brains as difficult as dealing with Bambous schoolboy yobbos. Thinking of which, it might be an idea to clarify the ML’s long-term plans before the media starts speculating…

Yours sincerely, EPI PHRON