Speculation seems rife about whether you’re still in command or about to be a has-been and, unfortunately, Pythia refuses to prophecy on the subject. “You must be joking! By all means ask about the outcome of wars but hostilities at the MBC are too trivial a matter for an oracle. Although a $10,000 donation to Delphi’s upkeep might swing things.”

Instead, I let my imagination wander to how it might have been had television existed in the glory days of Athens. There would have been coverage of orators’ speeches in the agora – greatly more inspiring than ham actors’ spoutings in the National Assembly. While it’s a biscuit in Maya’s cap that parliamentary proceedings are now televised, she should have organised drama workshops with Komiko beforehand. Or perhaps she did. As for the News, compared with other advanced countries what’s particularly lacking is informed commentary. Has France 24 or the BBC inspired no-one? Even “debates” often only include lickers of other parts. While it would be optimistic to expect a Plato, it’s not just the education system that needs to encourage critical thinking. Meanwhile, the programming appears to be in the hands of a hibernating tang, with the same sleep-inducing slot-filling week after week.

It shouldn’t be that difficult to put together a comprehensive programme of forthcoming cultural events, as well as reporting on them afterwards. There’s the odd musical programme featuring pop groups, but how about sponsoring new drama and dance? If Mauritius lacks a modern-day Euripides or Aristophanes, what about purchasing contemporary arts programmes from abroad? Meanwhile, any old film is used to provide opium to the masses, while ensuring there’s nothing to offend conservative sensibilities. Shouldn’t the MBC be broadening perspectives rather than re-enforcing prejudices? Mind you, it’s equally disappointing that no cinema has shown the best film at the Oscars. The age of enlightenment seems far away when there’s not even any Moonlight.

There isn’t a good talk show, nothing like Gérard Manuel’s radio programme – twenty years ago – while more could be done on the sports side, like a weekly close-up programme on sports clubs and individuals. What better way to raise local interest and lead to more than a handful of spectators attending matches and events? However, nothing could have the popularity Greek athletes enjoyed, but that’s just a daydream as a ban nowadays on married women watching them might be difficult to enforce. Mind you, what better way than being seen in their full glory to encourage sportsmen to train harder?

Local radio stations thrive on airing people’s problems. So, why is there nothing similar on TV? It would be a tremendous democratic advance and a great way to force bureaucrats to rummage through their bottom drawers. Meanwhile, to encourage people to realise they’re designed to run their own lives without an aide-chauffeur or nanny state, there could be programmes on what local communities have done for themselves and on the unsung heroes who help people without expecting any reward. Instead there’s far too much propaganda, despite the fact the Sage realised years ago how counterproductive it is – and that he could win an election without TV coverage. If ancient history seems remote, at least internal and external hand-lickers should have learnt from yesterday.

The last MBC milestone was the Kids Channel in September 2014. Maybe the next DG will be more imaginative – and provide “independent and impartial broadcasting services”.

Must go – Zeus is having a laughing fit…