Although ignored by the MBC, Zeus issued a statement yesterday declaring he’s in no way responsible for the current chaos and has no intention of resigning, although he may intervene with a few thunderbolts. Khaos, incidentally, arose spontaneously out of nothingness (rather like social media), as the first of the gods. There can rarely have been a time when he’s been so active in local politics. I can’t get through to the Oracle – all phone calls and e-mails to Pythia remain unanswered – so I’m not going to prophecy anything about your party’s or the country’s leadership, although staying rather than going is apparently in vogue.

Khaos’ children (by asexual reproduction) included Eros (no doubt to compensate for his own deprivation), as well as my mummy and daddy, Erebus and Nyx. No god or mortal is responsible for their relatives, however, and you’re lucky in that respect. The DPP has yet to enter politics, unlike the ex-chairman of the supposedly independent Equal Opportunities Commission, and your cousins are more likely to wreak havoc elsewhere. All the best clans put their feet in many camps.

Khaos’ creation was rather similar to that of Hun-tun in Ancient China. Pure co-incidence, of course, just as lemon man’s recent reference to chaos. Still, without launching a conspiracy theory, you might wonder if, like Air Mauritius, he’s asked the NSS to infiltrate daemonic circles. Anyway, you walloped him in that by-election, even if your dear leader thinks he won. Only in Mauritius, as some humourist once wrote, would a failed candidate lord it over elected members. By the way, watch out for more conspiracy theories in the coming days.

Every political party is in some degree of turmoil although Young Pravind is almost sitting pretty by comparison, despite all the scandals. He gives the impression of trying to do something whereas everyone else is simply criticising. Mind you, the way the balié fatak has been used to sweep some issues under the carpet is uncannily reminiscent of the ancien régime. The Agora would never have allowed such things to happen.

You both tend to bide your time before you strike. How wise to have allowed Madame to have the opportunity to resign, as an impeachment process can always backfire. In your case, the plan no doubt is to hope your rival decides to relocate to Melrose, although the snail’s pace of Justice does complicate matters. Incidentally Hesiod noted that, when snails climb up the stems of plants, it’s harvest time. There’re loads of snails around at the moment so maybe your hour cometh. Bear in mind that today’s Admirables clamour for immediacy. It makes you wonder how they’ve dealt with the Hundred Years War. They’d have been consulting their smart phones every five minutes to see if the final result had come through.

You’ve always been popular in opinion polls, but then so was the X Factor. However, you’ve now spoken about the government resigning, a constant refrain from Opposition benches ever since the last election. You might take comfort in the Ancient Greek belief that good always triumphs over evil, but goodness means rising above cheap politics – and old habits die hard.

You’ve been in labour for ages but gestation periods don’t last for ever. You’ll have to act at some point before an Emmanuel somehow emerges from nothingness, condemning you for ever to a secondary role. If Plan A fails, you could take a belated a birthday cake to Angus Road as Christmas Day is quite a long way off and Pot Paul may beat you to it.