Modern-day gender fluidity is not a concept the Greeks would have understood, except in the kind of way indelicately expressed by young ladies and gentlemen waiting for their buses at the «gare du Nord». Mind you, everything seems fluid nowadays, even Truth. It wasn’t like that in my young day. Even we daemones were assigned a gender, rather unnecessarily given our non-existent reproductive capabilities. Anyway, it seemed prudent to consult a female god or two before venturing into any thoughts about Women’s Day.

Queen Hera just laughed at the idea. She was known as the goddess of marriage, women, the sky and the stars of heaven, an even more impressive range of duties than Lady Fazila’s. She was usually depicted as a beautiful woman, sometimes accompanied by a lion, although not in the manner of the Lady in Red. In fact, she did little to protect women and spent quite a bit of her time putting Zeus’ consorts in their place. She even turned Io into a white cow, but that’s a long story. 

Amongst other roles, Artemis was a goddess of childbirth and the protector of girls until the age of marriage. It’s a pity she’s no longer terribly active although, like many gods, there was more than one side to her. With her twin, Apollo, the two gods were also bringers of sudden death and disease – Artemis targeted women and girls, Apollo stuck to men and boys. As for her thoughts on Women’s Day, despite my several e-mails, she hasn’t replied. Perhaps she’s been afflicted with the modern disease of public sectoritis.

What is clear is that neither of them needed much defending and, as they were worshipped throughout the year, had no need for a Female Goddess Day. In fact, if all women were treated with the respect shown to female deities, many of the problems of modern society would be solved in a flash. If abusive partners knew they might be turned into toads – or whatever – for assaulting their womenfolk, domestic violence would be ended overnight. It’s doubtful if Women’s Day will ever be an effective alternative. Every year there are the same old rallies, variations of the same old speeches and promises, the same old buses and perhaps biryani heated up from the previous bussed-in gathering. The next day, nothing has changed. 

Rather as a religious festival can degenerate into a carnival, Women’s Day has become a political show, whereas action not words are needed. Not that there are simple solutions to many of women’s problems. One of the root causes of youngsters’ indiscipline is the lack of parental guidance, which is not helped in many cases by both parents working or being more interested in their Facebook pages. When you add in peer pressure and images on social media, there are bound to be those who acquire a pathetic desire to feature themselves, even if it’s as rogues and vagabonds.

Thinking of which, how come that highly paid MPs nowadays have the time to spend their days like delivery boys, picking up T-shirts and Zeus knows what else, or going for a ride in the sugarcane fields? Mind you, how people see things can be very subjective. This may have simply been a knight in shining armour giving a lift to a damsel in distress – although these days gallantry is probably considered contumelious, a display of male dominance. However, gender equality and sameness are separate concepts. The only thing that’s clear, despite all the fluidity, is that men and women are not identical in every way, and that any reasoned debate about the respective roles of men and women in society seems a long way off.