I’ve just emerged from my five-year reverie in these fair isles to find Poseidon beckoning from the shore. Quite what he was doing on the shore and me all at sea is another story. “Come here,” he yelled, his trident held aloft. “Your time is up!” He was behaving for all the world like a boathouse captain but, as people see their gods through mortal eyes, sometimes the roles get very confused. Just look at Sri Lanka! How jihadists, masquerading as agents of the divine, can imagine any god would wish them to go around massacring their fellow human beings in his or her name is incomprehensible.

It’s equally depressing that religious and sectarian lobbies continue to stick their noses where they don’t belong, and the devoted Yatins of this world will be the last to stop it. Still, Admirables are rather set in their ways, like most members of the animal kingdom. They don’t even like changing banks, despite long counter queues, and they’re even less likely to change their religions even though they’ve only acquired them thanks to an accident of birth. They follow their political leaders equally slavishly although my Pote has lost some of his gloss  Perhaps last year’s lack of coal tar is a symptom of the malaise but what on earth will happen if the MMM actually collapses? Logically, there might be a future of sorts if all the former mauves could get together – but they won’t as there’s a surfeit of leadership contenders. Even if two of them stand out as decent men, one is a poor orator in the Assembly and the other, despite good work behind the scenes, has had to compromise too often. Arvind might just start a New Labour and align with Pol’s rump but that would need a change in the intercourse laws.

Labour itself seems unable to offer any explanation of how unused dollar notes can be party contributions and the Dear Leader’s memory seems to be failing. His protest outside the MBC seemed a tad hypocritical. While people too have short memories, to treat them as imbeciles shows a sorry lack of respect for self and them. And what does he mean by a rupture? A hernia? Or perhaps he’s planning to install a new kitchen sink. Mount Olympos was certainly looking forward to some nouvelle cuisine but all the parties seem to be serving the same old junk food. Incidentally, Zeus strongly denies having anything to do with the chaos amongst the government’s opponents – and the rumour that payments have been made to his offshore or heavenly accounts.  

When it comes to the elections, honest manifestos ought to include some unpopular measures but who will dare mention delaying the pension age? It’s clear it should be moved to 65 now that the retirement age has changed, but politicos are too lily-livered to talk about it. But what’s most needed, apart from ethics, is a government able to plan properly and maintain existing infrastructure, activity not helped by a mal-functioning public sector. Nature’s being destroyed day by day and there’s little space left even for a wee small spirit.  The press remains a bastion against the forces of darkness but, with the onslaught of social media, how long can it withstand the dumbing down and immediacy twittering’s produced? 

By the way, all Pythia will say is “Expect the status quo.” Perhaps the same old faces or the same lack of political courage – your guess is as good as mine. However, I shan’t be around to explain as Zeus thinks I’ve tried hard enough to suggest a little wisdom and thoughtfulness and that it’s now time for a return to the slopes of Mount Olympos…