We are not saying Navin Ramgoolam is guilty of what he is being accused of. We are not saying he is innocent. That is for our courts to decide. What we are saying is that in this sensationalist carnival atmosphere, if someone – say, Joe – punched Ramgoolam in the face tomorrow, public opinion would give the latter a good thrashing for hurting poor Joe’s knuckles with his face. If the former prime minister walked on water, many would chastise him for not being able to swim.

Any opinion which comforts people in their beliefs and plays on their emotions is applauded and their authors acclaimed for their courage (of shooting corpses?!). So this week, we decided to join the chorus and give the blood-thirsty crowds what they are looking for – blood! If this rubs our ministers the right way and allows us to be well seen by the government, even better! So, we invite our compatriots to join us in the hanging of enemy number one. You are requested to arrive early to establish a place close to the “stage” to view the macabre proceedings and cheer as crowds did in the Middle Ages.

And this is the opinion which seems to comfort the crowds today: Ramgoolam lied about having been with his mistress and that can only mean one thing: that he had Anand Kumar Ramdhony killed. You know, the poor chap who allegedly stole his wife’s watch which was different to the one apparently not stolen from the former prime minister’s bungalow. Don’t worry about the details. Don’t even worry about whether Ramgoolam is found guilty or not; what is important is that public opinion tries him. And the leaks, which Mr. Nobody is responsible for, have already done that. The stories – some plausible, some even heroic and some cock-and-bull ones – are endless!

Rakesh Gooljaury, on the other hand, has been elevated from the status of liar to that of hero. Hallelujah! Now he can aspire to even more gifts – I mean like all the ones he received from the previous government and the 97 squaremetre storefront allocated to him 18 days before the 2005 election as a parting gift from the MSM government. But shush, that’s not important today And there is nothing wrong with Sanjeev Teeluckdharry running to the rescue of dear Gooljaury. You must understand that there is an acute shortage of barristers in this country – only 700 – and it’s not as if a government MP would have any influence on the witness

or on a police force so manifestly independent and trusted.

And while the crowd is still present, we would like to congratulate the director of the ICAC for the valuable information he has given the court and which helps us understand that the former minister of finance and son of the current prime minister – Pravind Jugnauth – had nothing to do with the negotiations to acquire a clinic belonging to his sister and brother-in-law and where he is a shareholder. What a relief! And the case, by the way, is not about who signed the cheque or inflated the sale figure – congratulations again to Mr. Nobody – it is about who began the negotiations. So bring in Rajesh Jeetah.

We won’t miss the opportunity to congratulate Showkutally Soodhun for his great feat: that of staying in power as a sitting vice-prime minister while a court of law has just convicted him of two illegal acts: holding an illegal gathering and proffering threats! The poor journalists who were scared out of their wits that day must be deafened by their colleagues’ eloquent silence. So shush again!

Congratulations too to our minister of finance for announcing that the price of petrol will NOT come down and getting away with it. Who cares about the poor struggling middle classes who could aspire to a more comfortable lifestyle with a substantial decrease reflecting the world prices? Who cares about small businesses which would have cut down on the travelling costs of their employees? Who cares about those who would have had a slightly better spending power? Shushhhh. Let’s cut the hangman’s rope. Everything else is unimportant. Keep cheering. Louder!