Don’t send the children to bed to prevent them from hearing the flowers coming out of our minister mentor’s foul, scornful and contemptuous mouth. They have to get used to that. Besides, the former prime minister does truly p… on all of us. And the p…ing is likely to continue for a very long time, not only by the minister mentor but by the whole government.

The parliamentary debates broadcast live on Tuesday gave a good inkling of how drenched we have become from the p… being showered on us.

After using all sorts of subterfuges to avoid answering the questions we are all asking, we finally got to know of the extent of plundering of public funds happening behind the scenes. This was aggravated by the shamelessness of the ministers as they were made to disclose to us that the salary of someone whose appointment is still contested at the Equal Opportunities Commission is being casually increased by Rs100,000 every now and then and has reached Rs323,000 a month, coupled with an extension of her contract by one more year!

What is worse is the reason given for the last Rs100,000 increase: A heart surgeon retired and the cardiac centre saved his Rs300,000 monthly salary so – Anil Gayan volunteers – the executive director has ‘more responsibilities’! One is allowed to ask how many heart operations Vijaya Sumputh, a lawyer whose competence we will abstain from commenting on, has performed since the doctor left! Or if the ‘additional responsibilities’ Gayan is referring to are taking place in the cardiac centre.

The exchanges in the national assembly became more interesting as MP Ravi Rutnah, not aware of his limitations, tried to come to the rescue by asking about the salary of Sumputh’s predecessor. The answer to Rutnah’s own-goal question was stunning: Rs117,000! So in two years, the salary of the executive director of the cardiac centre increased by 175%! Reach for your calculator and compare that with the percentage increase of your own salary during that period and you will find out just how much pi…ing on us is going on! This increase incidentally is not limited to mistresses. All the cronies appointed by Lepep have seen their salaries at least double as they took over. From the Central Water Authority to the Independent Broadcasting Authority going through every other fund-wasting parastatal, it is manna from heaven. When you have no skin in the game, it’s easy to shower on your protégés money other people have worked hard for liberally.

But don’t worry about the cost to the country at a time when government debt is going through the roof. In the self-same parliamentary session you watched live, where many questions were skirted and where a motion of no confidence filed against the speaker was not on the agenda, resulting in members of the opposition manifesting their protest by refusing to stand when the speaker walked in – a solution was suggested to the country’s debt. The old age pension will be curtailed! Yes, there is talk that this meagre pension, which Lepep itself increased to bribe their way to power, will be slashed to reduce government debt. For Lepep, Rs5,000 for our elders, who have toiled a lifetime and contributed to build the country with their blood, sweat and tears, is too much to afford them a minimally decent life in their old days. On the other hand, Rs323,000 for a close one is fine, thank you. Anyone unhappy? I p… on you! And please leave the kids around. Nothing indecent going on here. It’s just business as usual in our paradise!

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