We respect your anonymity. I, too, will remain anonymous for the occasion. However, could you tell us what you do in life apart from criticizing the government?

Sorry, I can’t tell you that. Too many bhai looké on our island who are far more interested with the identity of the messenger than with the message. What do I do apart from criticizing the government? Well, I do not criticise only the government. I criticise ALL our politicians from all parties because I dislike their wonderful words about servi le pays when we all know that they end up serving themselves.

If I give the impression that I criticise the government far more than the opposition, it is simply because we have never had such a bunch of corrupt, incompetent, totally useless fools in power. Every day, I say to myself that I will today write about the bozos in the opposition, but everyday, there is a new government scandal which attracts our attention and disgust. If the people in government want me to stop writing about them, the answer is very simple: start behaving like a government for ALL the people and not for your growing army of sycophants only. Behave with decency, stop destroying our democracy, make accountability your priority, and I promise I will tear the opposition to pieces.

To put it crudely, ICAC has been a terrible waste of taxpayers’ money, and has resulted in only a few police officers done for lamoné dité, etc.

You seem to know everything that’s happening in the world and… in Mauritius. You read the newspapers? How do you do to be so well-informed?

I have always been interested in current affairs and history equally. It is such a pity that in my younger days, I knew far more about the number of wives of Henry VIII than I knew much about Mauritian history, about Anquetil, Rozemont, Seeneevassen, Pandit Sahadeo, the Bissoondoyal brothers, SSR, etc. It is a real tragedy that Mauritian kids know hardly anything about the history of Mauritius, its colonisation, the inhumanity of slavery, the hardship of the indentured labourers, the struggle for universal suffrage, the fight for independence, etc. If they did, perhaps we would not have seen the spectre of ethnic strife and racism raising its ugly head lately. But it suits our politicians to keep us divided... Because out of division, you get the emergence of a government voted into power by less than 40% of the electorate.

Who’s the worst personality in the country and the most hated?

That is a terribly difficult question because there are so many of them! If by “worst” you mean incompetent, arrogant, no good to man or beast, totally useless, then here is a short list: Pravind Kumar Jugnauth, because he is the one responsible for all the bad decisions plaguing this island and ruining its economy. Anil Kumar Dip, the worst police commissioner in our history, by far. Maneesh Gobin, by far, the worst Attorney General and the worst Minister of Agriculture since the beginning of history. Such a disgrace that a minister of Agro-industry does not know his onions and an Attorney General seems to have only a passing knowledge of the law... But he loves venison, apparently, especially when soaked in Black Label. That nasty little oik in charge of our MBC, totally uncultured and lacking in basic education. All the political nominees who view their responsibilities simply as pleasing Lakwizinn and filling their pockets with our money. But in terms of the worst and most hated character, then there is only one winner: the one I nicknamed Lady Macbeth. No one has ever given her even one vote, and yet she controls everything. Imelda Marcos envies her, I am sure.

The grossest character of all?

That’s an easy one. There is only one winner. He desecrates our National Assembly on the rare occasions that it opens for business. He is ill mannered, uncultured, can’t speak English properly, has a malfunctioning left ear and left eye which means he can only see and hear the opposition, knows nothing about Standing Orders although he mentions them all the time, often mentions “decorum” although it is clear he does not know what it means and probably believes it is number 5 on the luxury menu that our serviteurs du pays gorge themselves on...

He is the antithesis of what a real speaker ought to be. Defeat at the next elections for Pravind Jugnauth will be largely due to his short-sighted and stupid decision to nominate someone like him as the speaker. If sales of TV sets have gone up since 2019, it is simply because people buy new ones after smashing their sets in anger as soon as he starts screeching... As they say, “Mille fois Maya!”

You were really upset recently against ICAC and its investigations into the Franklin case. But the anti-corruption commission does what it can, right?

I have always been against ICAC because it is the prime example of an institution doing the opposite of what it says it will do. “Nou pa get figir” should be changed to“Nou pa truv narien si figir la sorti depi Lakwizinn”... I am sure Navin Beekarry does not have mirrors in his house because they will all crack and smash into pieces if he looks at one... As for Franklin, what else is left to say? ICAC is “investigating” money laundering, but there is no mention of the crime that engendered the proceeds of crime, i.e. Franklin’s lucrative drugs trade, helped, supported, and protected by the “patriots”.

As I forecasted, all the daily “Breaking News” of ICAC will very rapidly result in the release on bail on relatively small cautions of all those arrested... and there is no one to shout that “zizman la bankal, zot pa konn lalwa, etc.” And ICAC will continue to “etidié dosié” until a blue moon appears and it decides to interview Maneesh and the other under caution... There is as much chance of that happening as a deer strolling from Grand-Bassin into my garden... To put it crudely, ICAC has been a terrible waste of taxpayers’ money, and has resulted in only a few police officers done for lamoné dité, etc. All the big fish continue to swim serenely, and Navin Beekarry still loves making speeches about “fighting corruption”...

What bothers you most in what is happening in Mauritius nowadays? Fraud? Corruption? Subtle or open communal campaigns?

All of it. There is nothing more disgusting than seeing so-called socio-cultural organisations pretending to defend religious groups when it is clear to anyone with even only two brain cells that the only thing they want to defend is the juicy subsidy of nearly Rs 100millions of taxpayers’ money they receive from all of us every year, plus duty free, etc. and the various, even juicier contracts for transport, gardienaz, “security”, replacing windows, etc. given to them by parastatal organisations at the behest of the prime minister.

As for fraud and corruption, well it has never been as bad as it has been since 2014. Remember, they destroyed Dawood Rawat’s business on a very flimsy excuse and sold off all his assets to their friends at bargain basement prices. That was theft at its highest level, and the worst example of fraud by any government, when the property of a citizen was stolen and shared amongst themselves. The worst part of it all? The taxpayer has forked out Rs 25 billions so far for allowing them the privilege to steal with impunity!

But why do you write swear words?

Mwa? Zame! Mo servi ban mo parfwa to accurately describe the charlatans, the hypocrites, the thieves in nice suits, those who will kas lerin mafia ladrog but who seem to be rather fond of kidneys... Anyway, pena narien pli poetik ki “gros mots” an kreol! Remember, these people are used to arse lickers telling them how wonderful they are. So, it is always good to bring them back to reality with a few choice words in Creole...