I would like to begin by thanking my Daddy-Mentor for entrusting me with the task of mismanaging the finances of the nation and steering the economic development of our country directly into the canal.

This Budget, which I am presenting today, will bear out my determination in living up to the mistrust that has been put in me. (Clap, clap, tap latab, etc.)

Madam Speaker, I am hereby removing all taxes on belts, i.e. ceintures and sangles. So that the men and women of this country can tighten them further around their waists, whilst I take from the poor to give to the rich. I am glad to announce that air tickets to India will be reduced by half so that I can go there to ask for more money to pay Veekram Bhunjun and all those who are suing us. Government will furthermore create 20 000 jobs for roder bouts with backing in the civil service. (Clap, clap, clap, tap latab etc.)

To enter a new economic cycle focussing on innovation and boosting private investment, it is imperative that our productive sectors – such as the breeding of sea cucumbers and biscuit ma- king – make a significant leap forward in embracing new activities and modern ways of doing business. I am therefore providing a blank check for these entrepreneurs.

I am also increasing the salaries of our honourable ministers and deputees by 200 % so that they stop taking bribes. Mistresses, sons who hit taximen, daughters, wives, etc. will be given a role in the “film 6h30” industry, which is showing good potential for growth and for creating exciting new opportunities. (Clap, clap, clap, clap, tap latab, etc.)