Suppose, for the sake of the argument, in a totally hypothetical situation, that some bill – other than the ones which made the headlines in the last couple of weeks – made its way to the press, showing that a Mitsubishi Outlander, costing Rs3,239,000 had not been paid for by the very saints who are hell bent on cleaning the country of corruption. How would the self-appointed saints react? Tick the right answer:

a) Rush to the police and have the impertinent idiot who has published the information locked up.

b) Wake up from their slumber and go and settle the bill, explaining that they have just found out that cars in this country are not free. Or,

c) Lay low until people forget about the issue. 

Well, that depends on which style they decide to adopt.

a)      They could choose the Soodhun style when faced with two unsettled bills, one from Apollo Bramwell Hospital and one from Iframac. Let’s call this style “The bluff style”.

1.       He first complained to the police, had two innocent people locked up and then held a press conference in which he brandished a certificate from his doctor showing that he had never been hospitalised in 2014! He spent some time trying to read it in English to the journalists present. We found out soon enough that the hospitalisation had taken place in 2010 and that the minister had simply not paid.

2.       Then he tried to look very smart by challenging those who accused him of having also failed to pay Iframac for a Mitsubishi for his son. “How dare they?” he said. “They produced two documents with two different prices,” he shouted: “Rs650,000 and Rs787,050!” That means that both documents are fake!” he added.  

Well, here are some figures for any child who has passed his primary school certificate to add up: the car cost Rs650,000, registration fees Rs39,200, VAT 97,500, transfer fees Rs300 and the “gage certificate” Rs50. And Yes! The exact sum is Rs787,050! Well done, my child!

3.       The third and final step is when Soodhun waved a cheque supposedly proving beyond doubt that he had paid for the car. The cheque was naturally never shown to the journalists but, according to our information, the one filed at the police station is for the sum of Rs1.5 m dated 7 February 2011 when the VAT invoice for the purchased car is dated 18 November 2013! How many people pay for a car two years in advance? And why pay Rs1.5 million for a car which costs Rs787,050!  

b)      They could choose Maya Hanoomanjee’s style. Let’s call it the “Family trait”. She did not know she owed money to Apollo Bramwell Hospital. As simple as that! When Soodhun’s bill came to light, she woke up from her slumber and suddenly decided that maybe treatment in the clinics in this country is not free! This style must come from some family gene, as her daughter too, you will recall, did not know that the position being advertised at the State Property Development Company Ltd was that of a chief executive officer. She only found out when she was selected – naturally through a very objective process which had nothing to do with her mother being a speaker – that she was going to head that parastatal.

c)       Or they could choose their own style. Say nothing, do nothing and leave the matter to the short memory of our compatriots. Lepep admirable will soon forget that some of those who contributed to bleeding the British American Investment companies are now feasting on the carcass.

Judging from past experience, I put my money on c) but we will soon find out. In the meantime, go grab some more popcorn and watch. The show has just begun.

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