Street protests by opposition members, a lot of overt criticism on Facebook, a political party referring the matter to the Supreme Court for a ruling. More action promised by opponents. These are but a few of the consequences of the papa-piti deal.

On the government side, it’s business as usual. Not a single reaction. And the MBC is carrying on with the minister parade without a hint that the country is not OK with what is going on. I thought I might very humbly give the new prime minister some ideas that might inspire him for a speech to the nation to motivate everyone and put an end to these protests. The ideas listed are of course non-exhaustive and everyone is invited to contribute his two pennies' worth to this laudable task.

"Dear compatriots, whether you like it or not, I am your new prime minister. I know none of you voted for me to be one but that’s what the constitution – and family – is about. I know hundreds of you took to the streets in protest; others have lodged a court case against this handover. The rest of you are sitting in front of your screens moaning and groaning as if this is the first time you have heard about democracy.  I know that few, and that includes the handsomely rewarded roder boutte, had it in them to show up at the fantastic ceremony where my dear father placed the crown squarely on my head in front of my aunt, cousin, brother-in-law and other close family members in this successful family affair saga; And we all celebrated in Government House, from now to be known as Lakaz Jugnauth.

Dear compatriots, I am grateful to our national broadcaster, the MBC, for blocking out all the other channels while I was on air addressing the kingdom. In fact, all Mauritians are grateful for that as it ensured that no Mauritian was left out of the most memorable event in our history. We did promise that in our new Mauritius, no one would be left out.  I am conscious that a large percentage of you think my new role is illegitimate. A larger percentage still want me to go through the polls instead of taking what is my birth right. I know all this but you have to stick it out! Anyone of you who has a problem with the Westminster system – where power is hereditary as in the case of the power shift from David Cameron and Theresa May – feel free to join those who are contesting that in the Supreme Court.

While those who are not motivated by the higher interest of the country are badmouthing me, I am heartened by real patriots like Zuberr Joomaye, who was so inspired by my speech that he immediately decided to cross the floor. Before spewing venom, think of other patriots like good old Joe Lesjongard, who has forgotten about all the humiliation we subjected him to and decided to make a return to Lakaz papa, which is now Lakaz piti, after a few stints at Lakaz voisins in between. And, as we speak, Raffick Sorefan — who we did not dignify with an invitation to join hands with us, is so interested in selflessly serving the country that he has officially declared he would join us as soon as his constituents have – as they will – communicated to him the idea he already knows: that their biggest desire is for him to join the government – our government.

I hope these explanations will have convinced you that you have to accept democracy – I mean facts. I am your new king now and long live me! Long live my father too – the King Father – as he ain’t going nowhere! Some of you might now start to question the Buckingham Palace tradition too for all I know. Thank you to those of you who know on which side their bread is buttered.”

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