If spin doctoring and chest thumping could drive the economy, we would be the most successful country in the world. For, when it comes to both, our political leaders are second to none. They really are tireless. But there comes a time when those who are riding those horses run out of road. Sadly, that time is not far.

I wonder how many of the lies we are being fed on a daily basis are concocted by ministers who think that a country can be run on policies based on the belief that you just say things and they happen. You pull figures out of a hat and policies roll out of nowhere to achieve the stated targets. You plant a flag on disputed territory and it becomes undisputedly yours. You give a figure for tourist arrivals and tourists start flocking in. You keep repeating that inflation is very low and the supermarkets reduce their exorbitant prices. You sweep the Central Bank clean of its reserves and the budget deficit disappears. You borrow money in hard currency and boast that national forex reserves have grown! Why hasn’t the rest of the world discovered the magic tricks? Why aren’t our geniuses and fake doctors invited the world over to guide international economic policy?

Yet, there are so many recipes they could share. For example, when you have hit the debt ceiling, you repeal the Public Debt Management Act. That’s all it takes! Now, if there is no ceiling, there is no limit to how much you can borrow. You have a problem explaining how you spend public money? Very easy: you create a Special Purpose Vehicle – there are many, the MIC is only one of them – and you are totally free to give money to whoever you want and buy whatever you want at the price you want no questions asked. If some ignorant journalist or an obstinate MP asks questions at press conferences or in parliament, you just educate them by reminding them of the laws protecting such entities – laws that actually imply that SPVs are funded entirely by taxpayers’ money but that the latter have no right to even know how their money is being spent! 

Other than opacity in borrowing and spending; other than all the rampant corruption that that entails; other than hiding and massaging figures, you keep setting targets: remember the 650,000 tourists we were supposed to attract in one year starting in July 2021 as announced in the June budget? Well, in spite of the Rs400 million banner in an empty Liverpool stadium and the Sus Island campaign, we ended up attracting no more than 176,555 in the six months between July and December! We really need a lot of luck to be able to attract the other 473,445 missing from the equation in the next six months! We need even more luck when you know that our planes are being sold in even more opacity and many tourist routes can no longer be serviced by our carrier. But if you can’t brag about real achievements, tossing figures at Lepep admirab is good enough. If they are repeated enough times with the arrogance characteristic of those in power, they might come across as real achievements. 

Now, the latest target set by our minister of finance is to reduce our public sector debt to 80 per cent of GDP by June this year and to 60 per cent by 2030! All this while Government is spending frantically on grand projects that not only swallow huge amounts of public funds but continue to require more money to run. Côte d’Or, the Metro Express, Safe City etc. and other similar projects Government is frantically embarking on are just a few examples. Add to this all the money shared amongst cronies through a mafia system we had a glimpse of in the Kistnen murder case and ask yourself how on earth we will be able to reduce that debt. 

And, what happens if we don’t and they really run out of road? Our decision makers do what they do best: hide behind Covid as if we were the only country in the world that was hit by the pandemic. How come so many other countries – many hit harder than us – are now in the black? 

Could it be because they had real and realistic strategies and policies instead of spin doctoring and thumb-suck forecasts? Asking for a friend!